I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just found puke in my bra..
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
