those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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