real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
