She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
