the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
