All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The beers last night were like the tears from god
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
