I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
