She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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