Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
