just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
