Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
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He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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