I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
