she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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