is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
