You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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