id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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