Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i now understand why vodka
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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