OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
