what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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