so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
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Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
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We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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