i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
