The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
