Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
