Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
