I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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