Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
