Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize
