Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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