we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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