We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
