it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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