Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
