Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
