I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
