I feel like I'm in dance class right now
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
