Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
