The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We're too hungover to prance.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
