Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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