"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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