so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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