How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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