Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
