She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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