Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
