You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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