Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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