If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize