I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
