he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
