We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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