super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
