This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
