see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
