That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
