the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
