can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
