She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
