im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
