I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
