All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
